Paradise Island
by Chi Yagami
Summary: ON HOLD. Anzu wins a vacation trip to an island for her and 25 friends. Summer is here, but can Anzu and her friends stop fighting long enough to enjoy it? Other anime characters included. Marik x Anzu
1. Anzu Wins A Vacation

**Disclaimer**: I do not own YGO, CardCaptors, DBZ, Zelda, SailorMoon, SaintTail, or Chobits. "Fellytone" isnt my word either. THIS GOES FOR ALL CHAPTERS!!! Sometimes I forget to put disclaimers…

All right, this is going to be my first Humor fic EVER, so please go easy on the flames! Better yet, dont send any flames at all.

This fic is AU and was originally going to be script-style (…grrr…). Im sorry if the many animes I use confuse anyone. Please try to deal with the ages (like I know Yamcha is supposed to be WAY older than Trunks). If you have a question, please tell me. Ill try to explain it well…

Im using their Japanese names because I feel like it. So heres a guide:

Japanese – English (Age)

Anzu – Tea (16)

Marik – Yami Marik (16)

Bakura – Yami Bakura (16)

Ryou – Bakura (16)

Yugi – Yugi (16)

Atemu – Yami Yugi (16 but really 5000; lol )

Katsuya – Joey (16)

Honda – Tristan (16)

Shizuka – Serenity (14)

Mai – Mai (20)

Isis – Ishizu (19)

Malik – Marik (16)

Seto – Seto (18)

Mokuba – Mokuba (12)

Rebecca – Rebecca (13)

Miho is only in the manga and shes 16

And heres a guide of the other characters and what show/manga I got them from (and how old they are in this fic):

Yumi – Chobits (16)

Chiharu – Cardcaptors (16) (Chelsea in the English TV show)

Noaki – Cardcaptors (16) (Nikki in the English TV show)

Meimi – Saint Tail (16)

Trunks – Dragonball Z (looks like Future Trunks) (18)

Yamcha – Dragonball (21)

Lita – Sailor Moon (16) (Sailor Jupiter)

Mina – Sailor Moon (16) (Sailor Venus)

Marron – Dragonball GT (16)

Link – Zelda (15)

Main pairings: Anzu/Marik, Seto/Yumi, Bakura/Meimi

Sorry Otogi/Duke fans, hes not in here.

This fic is dedicated to Sailor Tiamat, who chose a Marik/Tea pairing.

* * *

**Paradise Island**

By: Chi Yagami

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Anzu Wins a Vacation**

The usual gang (Anzu, Marik, Malik, Ryou, Bakura, Atemu, Yugi, Katsuya, Mai, Isis, and Honda) was crowded at a round table in the lunchroom, trying to listen to a small radio.

"QUIET!!!" Anzu yelled.

"WHY ARENT YOU???" Marik hissed. She shot him a death-glare

"Shhh! Im trying to listen for the winner of the all-expense-paid-vacation to Paradise Island!" she whispered back.

"The WHAT?!" everyone asked.

"And the winner is," the radio man said with a suspenseful voice, "Mazaki Anzu!"

"YEA!!!" everyone cheered, although many of them were confused as to what they were cheering for.

"So," Katsuya asked after calming down, "Anzu, whatja win?

"I won a free trip to Paradise Island for the weekend!" she cheered excitedly.

"Thats awesome!" Yugi exclaimed. "So, is it just you, or can other people come too?

"I can invite 25 friends!" Anzu replied happily, giving them all a thumbs-up.

"Awesome!"

"How did you win?"

"Oh, I entered some contest weeks ago or something…"

"So, how will we know if were going and stuff?" Mai asked.

"Oh, dont worry; Ill call ya up and let you know when it is," the brunette replied.

"OKAY!!!"

* * *

When she got home, Anzu checked her mail and saw that the contest people sent her the 411 on the vacation.

"Wow! So its this weekend, 6:00pm Friday to 2:00pm Sunday. A bus will transport us there! Kewlies!" she exclaimed like a child. She ran into the kitchen, picked up the phone, and began to call her friends.

"Hello?"

"Hey Yugi! I got the information on the trip!"

"So, when is it?"

"Its this weekend from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. Can you come? Atemus invited too," Anzu added.

"I dunno… Lemmie go check the fridge," Yugi replied, setting the phone down.

Anzu waited patiently.

Atemu came into the hall and saw the phone, wondering what the heck it was.

"What are you?! Oh yeah, Yugi explained all about you, you Fellytone!" he exclaimed loudly, pointing a finger at the phone as if it were evil.

"Hello? Atemu, is that you?" Anzu yelled into the phone.

Oh no! That mechanical beast has Anzu!

"IT MUST DIE!!!" he yelled.

"Atemu? Is everything all right?" she asked worriedly.

"Dont worry!" Atemu called out to her. "Ill save you from the Fellytone!"

"The what?" she muttered, confused. "Oh, you mean the telephone… WAIT!"

Atemu mind-crushed the phone & sent it to the Shadow Realm…

Anzu sweat-dropped.

Yugi returned happily because he and Atemu can go.

"Hey! Wheres the phone?" he asked. Then he saw Atemu looking guiltily at the table. "ATEMU, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE PHONE????!!!"

"I punished it!" he said proudly, sticking his chest out.

Yugi sighed.

"What?" Atemu asked. "It was holding Anzu captive!"

Yugi just shook his head and sighed again.

"Hahaha! It wont be coming back ever again!"

"What did you do!?" Yugi shrieked.

"I sent it to the Shadow Realm!" Atemu snickered.

Meanwhile, Anzu was trying to call Yugi back.

Somewhere in the Shadow Realm, a phone was ringing.

Oh well," Anzu said, sighing. "Ill call Yugi back later. Now to call Shizuka and Katsuya!"

Shizuka was in kitchen making Katsuya a sandwich when the phone rang.

"Hello, Jonouchi residence. Shizuka speaking."

"Looking for a job in telemarketing?" Anzu asked sarcastically.

Shizuka laughed.

"No… Whats up?"

"Well, youre going to love it! I won a free trip to Paradise Island!"

"REALLY?!?!!!" Shizuka shrieked.

"YES!!!" Anzu replied, shrieking too.

Both girls were shrieking loudly.

Katsuya walked into kitchen with his hands covering his ears.

"Golly, can ya scream any louder?" he asked, taking the half-made sandwich from his sister.

Shizuka calmed down.

"Sorry, bro. Anyway, Anzu, thats great! When is it?"

"This weekend! Can you and Katsuya go?"

"We can go!" she replied after checking the calendar.

"Great!" Anzu said. "Meet at my house on Friday at 5:30pm. Bring anything you think youll need."

"Okay!" Shizuka replied, hanging up phone. "Hey Katsuya!"

"What?"

Shizuka explained all about when and where they needed to be in order to go on Anzus trip.

"I wonder if Mai is going…"

* * *

Anzu was humming happily while dialing Hondas number.

The answering machine picked up.

"Yo, this is Honda. Leave a message after the tone. And Joey, dont even think about asking if you can come over and raid my fridge. BECAUSE YOU CANT!!!"

Tone.

"Haha, very funny Tristan. Its Anzu speaking. Anyway, I won a free trip to Paradise Island for 25 friends and me. If you want to go, show up at my house this Friday at 5:30pm. Bring whatever you think you need. Bye!"

She hung up the phone.

She tried Mai's cell phone and left a message. That girl was always out shopping.

Time to call Ryou and Bakura…

She dialed the number and waited.

"Hello," said a cheerful British voice. "May I help you?"

"Hi Ryou," Anzu said. "I got the details on the vacation trip."

"Thats jolly good. So when—"

"GET THE F.CK OFF THE PHONE, BAKA HIKARI."

Bakura grabbed the phone from him.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

"Hi Bakura," she giggled.

"Oh, its just you," he grumbled, giving the phone back to Ryou.

"Dont worry about him," Ryou told Anzu. "Hes just a little ticked off at the TV for not showing Care Bears."

"WHAT?" Anzu asked, hooting with laughter.

Bakura growled; Ryou had promised not to tell!

"COME HERE, YOU RA-FORSAKEN WIMPY BACK-STABBING HIKARI!!!!!!"

Anzu could hear shouts and yelps coming from the other line. When someone finally got back on the phone, it was Bakura.

"Tell me the damn information," he hissed into the phone.

"O-okay…"

Anzu quickly told him everything he needed to know, and she hung up. That was one angry yami Ryou had.

"Now who to call…? _Great._ The Ishtars."

Isis was cleaning up the first of eighteen messes Marik had created when Anzu called.

"Hello? Anzu! Let me guess: youre calling about the trip!"

"Yes!" she cheered.

"Well, Marik, Malik, and I can go, but Rishid (Odeon) cant go. He's tending to the museum."

"Oh… Well, we'll just have to bring him back a souvenir then!"

The two girls talked some more, and Anzu told Isis the trip info.

Marik and Malik came running down the stairs.

"WHO WAS IT?! WHO WAS IT?!"

"It was Anzu!" she replied exasperatingly.

"The pharaoh's wench? She's annoying," Marik said.

"Well, we're going on that free trip with her, so you just be quiet!" Isis yelled.

"I'm sure therell be TONS of hot girls in bikinis on an island," Malik said, drooling.

Marik slapped him.

"We could make it our lair for when we take over the world… MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Isis sighed.

Meanwhile…

Anzu still had open spots for people, but she didn't know who else to invite…

"Hello?"

"Hi Mokuba!"

"Anzu," the little boy replied, "what's up?"

"I won a free weekend trip to an island, and I was wondering if you and your brother wanted to come."

"Of course we'll come!" he said, practically bouncing off the wall. "When and where?"

"Everyone's meeting at my house around 5:30 pm, and I'm pretty sure well be back Sunday afternoon."

"Cool," Mokuba replied. "See ya there!"

Now to get his brother to agree…

"OH SETOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Kaiba came running into the room looking frantic.

"What's wrong, Mokuba?"

"Seto, we don't hang out enough; can we hang out all weekend?" he asked, giving Kaiba the puppy-dog eyes.

"I guess…"

"YIPPEE! I told Anzu we'd go on her trip with her!"

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"

* * *

Anzu had called up Rebecca and invited her; Rebecca said she would be there.

But she still had room for 12 more friends. She sighed. She didn't want to but…

"Hello? Oh, HI ANZU!!!"

"Hello Miho…"

"HI ANZU!!! WHATS UP???"

Anzu sighed and asked her if she wanted to go on the trip.

"OH ID LOVE TO!!! I'LL BE THERE FOR SURE!!!" Miho practically screamed into the phone.

"Great," Anzu replied sarcastically as she hung up the phone **(1)**.

She looked through her address book trying to find people to invite. Then she remembered she has other friends who don't live in Domino.

"Hello?" a girl's voice answered.

"Um… yes… Is Yumi there?" Anzu asked. Yumi was in her dance class.

"Me speaking," Yumi replied. "Who the heck is this?"

"Anzu from dance class."

"Hey! Whats up?"

"Well Yumi, I won a free trip to Paradise Island for the weekend!"

"Awesome, girl!" her friend said. "And you want me to come?"

"Yes!"

"Cool; when is it?"

"Be at my house on Friday by 5:30 pm," Anzu replied. "Bring toiletries and stuff… I guess…"

Yumi laughed. "Okies. Bye Anzu!"

Anzu smiled. She would get to see some of her friends from dance class, camp, and friends that had moved away.

She decided to call up two cousins that she had gone to camp with a few summers ago.

Chiharu picked up the phone and dodged a flying steak.

"WATCH IT!" she barked at Noaki, who sweat-dropped. "Hello?"

"Chiharu? Its Anzu Mazaki from camp!"

"Hello Anzu! I havent heard from you in a long time! Whats up?"

"Well…"

Chiharu screamed loudly when Anzu told her about the trip.

"OF COURSE Noaki and I can go! That is, if NOAKI CAN STOP TRYING TO FIX DINNER BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIES, SHE'S NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO COOK!"

Anzu giggled as she heard Noaki mutter many apologies.

"So," Chiharu continued, "we'll see you Friday evening?"

"Yep!"

"Bye!"

Anzu chuckled to herself; those two were so different and yet so alike.

But who else to call…

* * *

The phone rang loudly throughout the Haneoka household. Meimi ran to the kitchen. Her father had been showing her his latest magic trick: making people float.

"Hello?" Meimi asked.

"Meimi? Yeah, it's Anzu, from dance class?"

"Hey Anzu," Meimi said excitedly.

"I heard Asuka Jr. hasnt caught you yet, I mean, _Saint Tail_."

"No, he hasn't… Maybe I should regret telling you that I'm the mysterious thief, Saint Ponytail."

"I don't care," Anzu said. "You usually help people."

"Yep. So, what's up?"

Anzu told her about the trip, and Meimi said she could come.

"I just hope Saint Tail isn't needed while I'm gone!" Meimi said.

"Tell your friend Sierra that you'll be gone."

"Definitely. Bye Anzu!"

Anzu sighed. She flipped through her address book before settling on a familiar name.

I haven't seen him in 12 years… I hope he hasn't moved from this phone number. I wonder if he'll remember me…?

Over at Capsule Corp…

"VEGETA!!!"

Vegeta growled.

"What is it now, woman?!"

Bulma found him sitting in the den watching TV. More specifically, porno TV.

"Vegeta! Don't watch that!" she said, snatching the remote and turning it off. "We don't want Trunks picking up on any of that!"

"Any of what?"

Trunks came into the room carrying some boxes.

"Nothing," his mother replied. "Now, Vegeta, why is the fridge empty?"

"What are you talking about, woman?"

"Stop calling me woman! I'm your wife and I have a name!"

"Sheesh! I don't even eat very much so I dont know what youre talking about!" he yelled, turning away.

"Trunks," Bulma said warningly.

"I might've had a big lunch…"

Trunks's appetite was almost as big as Goku's.

"UGH!" Bulma said, throwing both hands up into the air.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

"Ill get it!" Trunks yelled, grabbing the phone. He was hoping it was Goten wanting to get together to train.

"What's up? Trunks here."

"Hello… This is Anzu Mazaki… I used to live next door to you?"

"Anzu… Anzu… MOM, DID WE LIVE NEXT TO AN ANZU MAZAKI?"

Bulma gasped and snatched the phone.

"Anzu, darling, how are you?!"

"Mrs. Chamberlain, nice to talk to you! I'm fine; how are you all?" **(2)**

"We're hanging in there… Trunks ate the entire fridge for lunch… So, why are you calling all of the sudden?" Bulma asked.

"Well, I won this free tip to Paradise Island, and I can invite 25 friends. I'm running out of friends to invite, and I thought maybe Trunks would like to come!"

"Are your parents going?"

"No… They're away in Athens, again. But there will be a 20 year old going with us," she added quickly, knowing of Mrs. Chamberlain's over-protectiveness.

"Well, when is it?"

"Everybody is meeting at my house Friday night at 5:30, and were supposed to be back Sunday afternoon," Anzu replied.

"He can go."

"Tell Trunks I said hi!"

"TRUNKS!"

"What'd I do now?"

"Anzu Mazaki invited you on a free trip to an island for the weekend, and I told her youd go."

"Who?" he asked confused.

"Anzu, that girl who used to live next door? The girl you said looks oh-so-hot for a five year old when you were eight!"

"Oh," Trunks said, remembering. "Her…"

* * *

Anzu dialed Yamcha's number. He was a friend of Trunks's and a close friend of Mai's. He said he could come.

Four spots open for friends… but who to call…?

She remembered Mai had a cousin living in Tokyo somewhere. She rummaged through all of her school papers. She'd asked Mai to scribble down the number during lunch _ages_ ago…

Marron was the girls name. Anzu went back into the kitchen and dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Anzu Mazaki. Is Marron Kujaku there?"

"This is she. Who are you?" came the reply.

"Im a close friend of your cousin Mai's."

"Oh, youre that girl who invited Mai on the island trip, right? Mai told me all about that; she got your message," Marron said.

"Oh really? Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come. I'm running out of people to invite… hehehe…"

"I'd love to come! I guess I'll just get Mai to bring me over to your house, okay?"

"Okay. Bye."

She hung up. Anzu was running out of friends to invite. The first person who came to mind was Haga (Weevil), but he was just way too creepy for her.

Anzu remembered two girls who had just started taking lessons at the dance studio a few weeks ago. She had one of their numbers, but not the other.

Lita was baking cookies, and her best friend Mina was trying to solve a crossword puzzle.

"It's a good thing that the Sailor Scouts aren't needed right now," Lita said.

"Well, don't jinx it."

The phone rang, making both girls jump. Mina answered it.

"Hello?"

"Um, yes… This is Anzu Mazaki. Is Lita there?"

"No, no she's not. Shes busy taking cookies out of the oven," she replied. "How are you, Anzu? Its Mina."

"Oh, hi Mina! I was wondering if you two wanted to come on a free island vacation with me this weekend."

"Sure! We'd love to!"

The girls talked over the details and then hung up.

Anzu sighed with relief. Only one more person left… She decided to just leave it open in case anything came up.

Suddenly, the phone rang. The caller ID read _Domino Payphone_.

Anzu was afraid to answer it, but she picked it up anyway.

"Hello…?"

"Anzu? Its Yugi."

"Yugi! What are you doing on a payphone?!"

"Atemu sent our phone to the Shadow Realm…"

"So I heard. Anyway, can you come?" she asked.

"Well, actually, it turns out that my cousin is coming into town. I'm sorry."

"Oh… Wait, why don't you bring your cousin too? I still have 1 open spot on my guest list."

"Really? You won't mind? That's awesome! We'll be there."

She hung up laughing. Anzu couldn't wait till Friday evening. This was going to be one heck of a vacation.

* * *

**(1)** I don't mean to bash Miho or anything, but in this fic she's going to be a bit annoying.

**(2)** Im just making up a last name for Trunks. Im guessing his last name might be Vegeta or something, but Im using Chamberlain.

* * *

Well, I certainly hope yall have enjoyed this fic so far. This has been the longest chapter Ive ever written, and I hope it satisfied your funnies.

Sayonara!


	2. Packing the Suitcases

**Disclaimer**: I do not own YGO, CardCaptors, DBZ, Zelda, SailorMoon, SaintTail, or Chobits. "Fellytone" isn't my word either. THIS GOES FOR ALL CHAPTERS! Sometimes I forget to put disclaimers…

I'm going to start using POVs. I find it easier to write humor, and let's see how you like it for a change…

This fic is AU and was originally going to be script-style (…grrr…). I'm sorry if the many animes I use confuse anyone. Please try to deal with the ages (like I know Yamcha is supposed to be WAY older than Trunks). If you have a question, please tell me. I'll try to explain it well…

I'm using their Japanese names because I feel like it. So here's a guide:

Japanese – English (Age)

Anzu – Tea (16)

Marik – Yami Marik (16)

Bakura – Yami Bakura (16)

Ryou – Bakura (16)

Yugi – Yugi (16)

Atemu – Yami Yugi (16 but really 5000; lol )

Katsuya – Joey (16)

Honda – Tristan (16)

Shizuka – Serenity (14)

Mai – Mai (20)

Isis – Ishizu (19)

Malik – Marik (16)

Seto – Seto (18)

Mokuba – Mokuba (12)

Rebecca – Rebecca (13)

Miho is only in the manga and she's 16

And here's a guide of the other characters and what show/manga I got them from (and how old they are in this fic):

Yumi – Chobits (16)

Chiharu – Cardcaptors (16) (Chelsea in the English TV show)

Noaki – Cardcaptors (16) (Nikki in the English TV show)

Meimi – Saint Tail (16)

Trunks – Dragonball Z (looks like Future Trunks) (18)

Yamcha – Dragonball (21)

Lita – Sailor Moon (16) (Sailor Jupiter)

Mina – Sailor Moon (16) (Sailor Venus)

Marron – Dragonball GT (16)

Link – Zelda (15)

Main pairings: Anzu/Marik, Seto/Yumi, Bakura/Meimi

Sorry Otogi/Duke fans, he's not in here.

**This fic is dedicated to Sailor Tiamat, who chose a Marik/Tea pairing.**

* * *

**Paradise Island**

By: Chi Yagami

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Packing the Suitcases**

xxx Anzu's POV xxx

It is Friday.

FINALLY.

I am super excited about the vacation that I didn't even bother to go to school. I know it's bad to skip school, but I accidentally overslept anyway, and I couldn't think about anything except the plane trip.

xxx Normal POV xxx

While she was busily packing her things, the other guests were busy after school as well…

xxx Shizuka's POV xxx

Honda, Katsuya, and me are all packing for the trip together at Honda's house.

"So, Shizuka, what color is your bikini for the trip?" Honda asks me.

"Uh-uh, I don't have one… I have a one piece… See?" I explain, holding up a green one-piece.

"Not anymore," he says slyly as he snatches my swimsuit and rips it in half.

"KATSUYA! YOUR PERVERTED FRIEND RIPPED MY SWIMSUIT!" I scream.

Katsuya comes running in all defensive-like.

"You twerp," he says to Honda, "I can't believe you!"

"Hehehehehe…"

(O.O)

I'm starting to think he's a freak…

Katsuya is ordering a pizza now. Is there ever a moment where he's NOT thinking about food!

………………

Probably not. (U)

Ew! Honda's going through my underwear, trying to see if I have any thongs!

WHACK!

That'll teach him…

Only two hours until we go to Anzu's house! Yippee!

xxx Yumi's POV xxx

I am so excited to go! I can finally get away from all of these persocoms and junk. I can relax and be me!

The landlady is coming over to help me pack. I call her by her first name since we're only like 3 years apart.

"Hey Yumi," Chitose says as she helps me pack. "I hope you'll have a fun time."

"Me too. I get to hang out with my friend Anzu, and whoever else is going, I get to meet them!"

What fun!

xxx Mokuba's POV xxx

Heh, Seto's not happy. I am making him go on this trip against his will. Oh well. He and I need some bonding time.

"SETO!"

"WHAT?"

"HAVE YOU SEEN MY BARNEY UNDERPANTS?"

(OO;)

"NO… MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE THOSE HERE!"

"Whatever…"

I never really like Barney anyway, but Honda gave me Barney underpants for Christmas.

Seto's going crazy. He can't find the map to Anzu's house (;) and he can't find his favorite sweatervest (OO).

I think he should wear the sweatervest, even if it is dorky. He wears way too many trench coats.

Maybe he needs an Aspirin…

SCREW THAT

I need the Aspirin.

xxx Atemu's POV xxx

I can't believe Yugi is making me wear this. I LOOK LIKE A !F&#& SURF BUM!

"Nice Hawaiian shirt," Link snickers. Little freak… why did Anzu have to invite him!

"YAMI!"

"WHAT?"

"ARE YOU PACKED!"

"No…"

"GET PACKED! WE ONLY HAVE TWO HOURS!"

Ugh, only two more hours and then the REAL torture begins… Kaiba, Ishtar # 1 and # 2… great… and Yugi's annoying cousin.

Kill me now, Ra. Just kill me.

BANG!

I DIDN'T MEAN LITERALLY! Stupid Link, smacking me with his suitcase… once Yugi's not looking, I'm ripping out his throat! This whole vacation idea sucks. I'm only doing it because Anzu's my friend.

Wait…

Anzu is actually Yugi's friend… that means I'm not doing it for her! I CAN BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!

"Atemu, don't get any ideas," Yugi calls up. URGH! I hate mind-links. Speaking of Links… that little brat keeps calling me 'couz'. WHAT THE FREAK IS A COUZ!

"Are you packed yet!"

"No, my suitcase is full."

"Of what?"

"Migraine relief."

xxx Mina's POV xxx

Yippee! We're going on a vacation!

Lita and I have almost got everything packed… I think. Serena wanted to come over and help but I said no way. She can't be trusted with my stuff anymore.

"Mina! Are you ready?"

"Yeah!

"Let's go!"

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed chapter two! I'm sorry it's so short, but I thought it might get boring going through every character while they're packing…

Please review!


	3. When Evil Metal Detectors Attack!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own YuGiOh, Cardcaptors, Dragonball / Dragonball Z / Dragonball GT, Zelda, Sailor Moon, Saint Tail, or Chobits.

Wow, it sure has been a while since I updated.

**Sailor Tiamat:** I am FINALLY updating your fic! Sorry it took me so long, but I had writer's block for a while, and now with school starting up… well, ENJOY!

* * *

**Paradise Island**

By: Chi Yagami

* * *

**Chapter 3 – When Evil Metal Detectors Attack! **

(Anzu's POV)

(-.-''''') Okay, so the people on the telephone lied. They said we were supposed to take a bus there. HA, we're taking a bus to the AIRPORT, and then flying out to the island. I hope it's a Caribbean Island (XD) Maybe I'll meet Jack Sparrow (drool…)

Oh good, we all made it to the airport. At last! Ugh. Katsuya kept pulling our taxi over for food (--). I was in a cab with him, Shizuka, Honda, and Mai. Rebecca, Ryou, Bakura, Isis, Marik, and Malik were in another; Yumi, Chiharu, Naoki, Meimi, and Trunks were in a third cab; Yamcha, Lita, Mina, and Miho shared a taxi; and Yugi, Atemu, Link, (and surprisingly enough) Kaiba and Mokuba. Atemu and Yamcha raced to the Tokyo Airport (neither one of them one, Yumi's cab beat them). And now we're all standing here, waiting for our guide to show up and give us the plane tickets.

"I bet it's just a hoax," Kaiba mumbles. It better not be!

(Normal POV)

"Vello little peoples."

The twenty-six teens whirled around to the strange, exotic voice. A tiny little woman stood looking at them. Her black hair was wound up in a tight ball at the top of her head, and a bright yellow suit and heels. She was carrying a bag and clipboard.

"Vere might… (squinting at the clipboard) Anzu Mazake be?" she asked, rocking back and forth on her feet.

The group parted, Anzu left standing alone. "Uhh, hi…"

"I vill be your guide zruout ze tour," she said as a way of introduction, digging through her bag. "I am Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed."

"What kind of a name is THAT!" Marik cried, clutching his stomach. Malik and Bakura burst out laughing. Trunks and Kaiba had to restrain some coughing, and Mai dropped her lipstick tube. Katsuya merely continued to chew on his sandwich.

"A German name, you surfer from Hell!" Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed snapped back. Everyone tensed.

Marik stared back unfazed. "Btch."

"I vill not tolerate such behavior," she continued.

"I can't understand a word you're saying, lady," Yamcha mumbled.

"Vell at least _I'm_ not mumbling!"

"Uhh… Madame… uhh," Honda started.

"Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed," she finished.

"Uhh yeah… can we just call you Madame K?"

The lady continued rummaging, though more impatiently now. She pulled out a folded piece of paper and began to open it. It was huge and its length could be compared to a python. Passersby in the airport gave them strange looks.

"Rule No…………… Rule No.1583: You may only address ze tour guide by his or her proper name," she read.

"What?" Meimi asked. "That's a stupid rule."

"It's most likely ze oldest rule of ze tour guide's life!"

"Then shouldn't it be rule number one," Naoki inquired, "instead of… one thousand whatever?"

Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed gave her the evil eye before continuing. "I trust zat you vill be a good tour group so zat I do not have to read all of zese rules. I can and I vill if it seems necessary."

She folded the paper back up and glanced at her clipboard. "I vill now take role."

"Anzu, I thought this was supposed to be fun," Atemu whispered. The brunette shrugged.

"NO TALKING, PORCUPINE HEAD!" Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed shouted, turning several heads. "Now zen, first… Anzu Mazaki is here… YUGI MUTO!"

Yugi jumped into the air by several feet. He slowly raised his hand as everyone looked at him. One of the girls he didn't know giggled, and the tour guide gave him a strange look.

"Are you old enough to be coming on zis trip?" she asked strictly.

"Of course I am! I'm sixteen!"

Yamcha gave him a suspicious look before glancing at Trunks, who was inspecting the strap of his sword.

"ATEMU MUTO!"

"Here… grrr…"

"LINK…… LAST NAME NOT HERE!"

"Righto, I'm here."

"CAT-SUYA… JONOCHI!"

"Huh? Oh yeah, dat's me, but ya said my name wrong—"

"SHEEZUCA CAWAEE!"

"_Shizuka Kawaii_," she corrected.

"Vatever, you're here… HONDA HIROTO!"

"Here."

Yamcha sniggered and whispered something to Trunks about a living pencil.

"MAE KUJAKU!"

"Here, hun."

"Excuse moi!" Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed asked, gripping her clipboard. "I'm sorry, but I am not a lesbo."

((((((((((((((((OO)))))))))))))))))

"RYO BAKURA AND… (oO) Bakura Bakura?"

"Here," Ryou responded cheerfully.

"Hey, y'all got snow on your heads," Link told them.

"YOU LITTLE RAT, IM AN ANCIENT EVIL ALBINO TOMBROBBER!"

Anzu glanced at the security men, but luckily they were munching on donuts.

"ANYWAY, ISIS ISHTAR… MARIK ISHTAR… AND MALIK ISHTAR!"

"We're here…"

"Hmm… surfer boy from hell has a twin," Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed snickered. "I can conduct my experiments… MWUAHAHAHAHA!"

(blink blink)

"(coughcough) Sorry, I haven't had my medication yet…"

"I'm not sure you're taking enough…"

"VAT DID YOU SAY, LITTLE GIRL?"

Naoki cowered back.

"Now then… SETO AND MOKUBA KAIBA— **SETO KAIBA!**" Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed shrieked. "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! I FOUNDED YOUR FAN CLUB! OH SETO KAIBA, MAY I HAVE YOUR UTOGRAPH!"

"Get a life, you pathetic excuse for a person."

"I'll take that as a no… YUMI!"

"Here…"

"Duuude," Yamcha said, "that girl's hot! Don't you think so, Trunks?"

………

"Trunks!"

………z z z………

"VAKE UP AND STOP CHATTING!"

Yamcha jumped and Trunks slowly opened his eyes, yawning.

"REBECCA HOPKINS!"

"Here! Hi Yugi," she said sweetly, waving at him.

"No flirting! CHIHARU…… something…!"

"Here!"

"NAOKI!"

"Present… (mumbling) unfortunately…"

"MEIMI HANEOKA!"

"Here!"

"TRUNKS CHAMBERLAIN and… YAMCHA!"

"Yeah we're here."

"LITA AND MINA! MARRON! MIHO NOZAKA!"

"HERE!" all four of them shouted back. Anzu sighed; so far this trip wasn't running very smoothly.

"Very vell zen, ve shall continue on to za ticket counter. Bring your luggage pleeze."

"Hey, hun," Mai said to Link, "would you mind carrying these?"

She pointed to the mountain of suitcases behind her. The kid's jaw dropped as she waved and walked away; how was he supposed to manage _this_? Yami started laughing at him, but Miho came over and helped him.

"Hey Marik," Malik joked, "you've been pantsed!"

"WHAT?" the Egyptian asked, glancing down. His pants were still at his waste. "WHY YOU LITTLE—"

"Velcome to ze ticket counter or vatever. After I hand you you ticket, get inline for a boarding pass and luggage drop-off," Madame Krtuonsrrdfdszed explained, interrupting Surfer Boy From Hell.

Most of the crowd got their passes okay, but some people had difficulty…

"Excuse me, sir, but is this in Japanese?" the lady asked Bakura, who'd just signed some papers.

"Are you blind?" he retorted. "Of course not! It's in Egyptian, you moron!"

"Let me see your passport again."

He slapped his tiny black passport onto the counter and shot her a death glare.

"When was this made?" she asked suspiciously.

"Uhh… 3000 BCE-ish, back in Ancient Egypt," Bakura snapped.

"They had that stuff back then?" Ryou asked with wide eyes. His look-alike shrugged.

Meanwhile, Mai's twenty-eight suitcases were holding up the luggage belt. Half of them were full of just makeup and clothes.

"God dere gonna need another plane just ta hold all your junk, Mai," Joey told her seriously. She smacked him upside the head with her purse (which was full of more makeup).

Kaiba tapped his foot, watching the computer guy do a background check on Marik.

"Why must I fly with these imbeciles? I have my own private jet…"

Everyone finally got their boarding passes and proceeded into the security line. Anzu and Yugi tried to explain to the yamis about security check, but they just kept getting confused. Yugi and Yami approached the far left metal detector.

"Yami, just follow my lead and you'll be fine," he said, pulling off his belt and shoes and placing them into one of the plastic boxes.

"YUGI!" Yami cried as his hikari made to take of his jacket. "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A STRIPPER!"

Several security guards walked over apprehensively. Yugi sweat-dropped. "Yami, I'm just removing my jacket…"

…………………… "Oh…"

Yugi walked under the metal detector unscathed and waited for his items to slide out of the scanner-thingy. Yami eyed the machine suspiciously. Then, mimicking Yugi, he took off his jacket, shoes, and belt.

"This will be a piece of cake," he told himself. "It's an inanimate object…"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yami screamed, jumping back from the doorway thing. "IT'S ALIVE!"

"It's reacting to your Millennium Puzzle," Yugi called out from across the room. "Just take it off and put it in one of those boxes."

"No way! The Pharaoh never removes his sacred jewelry!"

(((((—(((OO)))—)))))

"Yami! Just take it off!"

"Never! I am Pharaoh, and I demand that you people bow before me!" he boomed, holding his puzzle out firmly. "NOW!"

A dozen cops closed in on him, but Yami only smirked.

"MIND CRUSH!"

……………………………………

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, NEVER!" he bellowed, dodging more cops and running around the airport.

Bakura and Marik were having similar problems…

"Hehehehe… I could turn all of these fools into mind slaves… MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

((((((((((OO'''''''''''''))))))))))

* * *


End file.
